Blue passports are apparently coming back. What utter balls. For Christ’s sake, why was the Express so happy to have a headline that £500m would be spent on the project? What a waste of time and money. Where’s the £500m for our NHS? Or our schools? Or my local libraries? What about protecting their beloved Britain?

I’ve been avoiding the news so I don’t actually know if this is standard Express bollocks or a real thing. Let’s leave it as TBC. Wouldn’t put it past this government to spend that much money to keep the Ukippers happy though.

Partner spent all weekend in bed suffering from Brexit and world events related anxiety. An asylum seeker was brutally attacked by a gang of disgusting cretins in South London and it set him off. This coupled with a trip to Waitrose on Saturday, where the white middle class (generally old) shoppers were gleefully milling about, their baskets laden with Daily Mails. That did the trick.

Weirdly, the Mail went big on the attack on the asylum seeker with their headline this morning: ‘SAVAGES’. ? It confused me. Do they feel guilty? Or are they just merrily capitalising on the drama? I read a few lines down and couldn’t help but be suspicious about their intentions, reading that “The boy cried ‘help help help”. There was a nagging feeling I couldn’t get rid of… almost as if they were enjoying it. They only ever do things for self-gain. It’s only if it’s in their interests they do it. Oh well. I can’t over analyse. I guess all I ask is that they don’t post the headline ‘BRAVO’ post such a racially-motivated attack.

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Emigration update: Dad has sent me a job in Brussels (his local cafe) and my other half is debating whether we leave this country to go to the dogs or stay and keep the fight. Annoying, as last Thursday I had completely resigned myself to getting the eff out of here.

In other news, Trump is trolling North Korea, stating that he will ‘solve’ them. Line straight outta SNL. This is fine. This is all really fine.